8 ways apostrophes are like men

1. They give abbreviated answers.
Should’ve. Didn’t.
Could’ve. Wouldn’t.
Can’t. Won’t. Wasn’t.

2. They think they’re being helpful when they’re really making a mess.
—I took those clothe’s on the bed to the Salvo’s for you.
—That was my outfit for our date tonight, bonehead.

3. They hang around where you don’t want them. 
In words like heroe’s, or by the door to the ladie’s room.

4. They show off, trying to outdo each other, and don’t even realize they’re screwing up.
—Growing up I spent the summer’s working night shift’s at Walmart’s.
—Thats nothing. I did internship’s developing hybrid’s at Ford’s.
—I had a sweet gig at Epcot’s. Made out with one of the princesse’s after the firework’s on the weekend’s.

5. They’re unkempt, littering the page like discarded socks and face up underwear all over the floor.
“Are these your nail clipping’s on the coffee table?”

6. They’re MIA when you really need them, then show up unannounced, inserting themselves where they don’t belong.

El Diablos serve’s the best Margarita’s!

—Where were you?
—I was getting Margarita’s.
—Getting Margarita’s what, exactly?

7. Their arrogance will drive you crazy.
“Our eye’s met. She want’s my hand’s in her pant’s.”

8. Or changing perspective, maybe it’s cute the way they get carried away when they’re excited.
“She love’s me.”
“Let’s make babie’s.”

More handy writing tips:
7 things punctuation will do for you that a man won’t
Does this book make my butt look big?

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “8 ways apostrophes are like men”

  1. Very clever and OH! so true. Hard to read all those ‘s because ignorance around when/how/where/why to use ‘ is so rampant . . . it was hard to read them all so carelessly spewn about like sand shaken from socks onto the clean floor after the beach walk, the sand that he ‘didn’t think you’d notice’ … Many thanks, just a great way to start a day. 🙂

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s