The littlest Zirro is 4 years old today, so there is much to “cewebwate” — 4 healthy, happy, smart, sassy big kids. No more diapers, no getting up in the middle of the night, no nap schedule to work around, no trying to figure out what the latest bout of crying means. 4 big kids who use their words and put on their own shoes, who play checkers and crack jokes and hug me back.
It occurs to me that I’ve never written about the fam. But these boys would make interesting characters! So I’m gonna share 4 short bios here for you to peruse and plunder as you see fit.
12 years old. Hair is crazy wavy, thick, hangs over one eye like an 80s rock star. Plays violin but I’ve seen him rock out most impressively on a drum kit.
Responsible, soft-hearted, people-pleaser, a little too interested in being cool, good with computers and electronics. Has “million dollar ideas” pretty much every day and will probably be a billionaire before his beard comes in.
Spiritually tuned in to people. Example: when he got bullied on the first day of school last year, he came home saying, “This kid Sam was mean to me, but he seemed really sad. I think he wants to be friends, but doesn’t know how.” They are now friends.
Everybody loves Ozley.
11 years old. Dark skin and brown eyes, poker straight hair that glows like black velvet. His feet give away his Middle Earth ancestry, and he’s almost always barefoot. He doesn’t like being called Feet.
Carnivore. His favorite snack is a wad of meat. Gross.
Has perfect pitch. Plays piano, flute and is teaching himself the clarinet.
Runs like the wind. Sleeps anywhere except in his own bed.
Weirdly smart in some ways and clueless in others. Probably Asperger’s. Learned to read at age 3 and can recite verbatim paragraphs at a time, but has no idea what they’re about. Memorized pi to 60 decimal places at the beginning of summer just for fun. Still remembers. Can’t remember where he put his jacket.
Weirdly brave in some situations and fearful in others. Example: he’s been climbing on the outside of 50 foot high play structures since he was tiny, but he cries if a joke gets too funny or if he forgets his homework. He forgets a lot. So did Einstein.
Introspective, beats himself up for silly mistakes.
He’s so much like me, it’s scary.
6 years old. Skinny. I mean skinny. It’s painful to look at. A raging exhibitionist, he loves talking about poo, pee, bums, farts, boogers and also showing off his poo, pee, bum, farts and boogers.
He tells a lot of jokes but has such a deadpan sense of humor, it sometimes goes over people’s heads. You know how shows like Modern Family start a gag in the first scene and run it through the entire episode? Yeah, he does that through life.
He has moves. Currently it’s the “Diddle Dance.” The crazed smile on his face makes it seem like he thinks it’s naughty. He also makes up or reappropriates words. Today’s word is clicker.
Diddle is an engineer and loves Lego gears. He’s been building working vehicles, fishing rods, and pulleys his whole life. He promises to make me a helicopter car someday.
The birthday boy. He’s 4, but since we celebrated last week with his grandparents, he reckons he’s 5.
If you know Australia, or saw the movie Australia last year, you know his name refers to his complexion. He’s got Punk’s tannable skin and my coppery hair. He also has a really hairy back. You have never seen a baby, sorry, big kid, with back hair like this. I think it’s sweet, but then, he gets it from me. Er, my side of the family, that is.
Creamy didn’t speak for over 2 years and still doesn’t pronounce everything properly. He’s smart enough to know it, though. Imagine an Aussie transplant in New Joysey.
Loves books. Meticulous about hand washing, good at straightening up, likes to cook and take photos. Fruitarian. Insists on wearing boxer briefs and gets a biweekly pedicure (at Salon Mame, of course). Has a security towel instead of a blanket.
Repeats everything you say, so be careful.
And to properly answer today’s post: You receive some wonderful, improbable, hoped-for good news. How do you celebrate?
Today’s top story is: Punk and I are staying together. I haven’t known if we would; it seemed improbable, something I was afraid to hope for. I’ll create my own good news by choosing happiness over fear, hope over regret. And I will celebrate with a genuine smile, a loving embrace, and a lighter heart.
And by watching the season premiere of Modern Family. =*)
That’s all the news that’s fit to print.