We all need to be touched, even if metaphorically. We are not, despite the enduring American myth, rugged individuals…
We need people near us. Without intimacy, we fall apart or break down. And for too many of us intimacy can be hard to come by. Our knowledge of others, of ourselves, is often superficial…
Fiction offers us the opportunity for intimacy, intimacy that is as decided as it is profound and lasting. We can, in a very short time, get to know the hearts and minds of people we only just met. We can know these fictional people better than we know ourselves, better than we can know anyone else. We can know them completely. And their lives will touch us.
I blog to feel connected to other writers. I want to know your stories so I will risk telling you mine. You’re all so brave, and I want to be brave, too. You’ve shared, and I want to give back.
I have learned that intimacy in the real world is something to be feared, yet in spite of the terror, I crave it. The desire to know and be known continually wells up inside, aching for someone to say I’m okay. I matter.
Flying solo is lonely business. Sad, meager, small. And I’m figuring out it doesn’t work, doesn’t make me happy. If I’m ever going to have a shot at feeling worthwhile I’ve got to face that fear and dare to do something different.
So I blog to put myself out there, to keep from despair, to remind myself that everyone is scared, everyone fears rejection, everyone wants to be accepted and loved and praised and allowed to speak.
Getting to know fictional characters allows me greater understanding of myself, but reading your blogs takes it further. It brings me another step closer to understanding the real world. Writing blog posts in order to contribute, even in such a small way, brings me yet another step closer. In the real world, I’m often invisible. But by writing, I am becoming real. And when you read (and like and comment) you let me know I do exist. I am okay. I do matter.
As I advance the plot of my own life, I need to share the ups and downs with you guys. I reveal my own character because it helps me work out my characters’ characters. I express the recurring themes of my own struggle, through life and through the writing process, because I admire how courageous all of you are who risk sharing your shit every single day.
And my favorite reason of all: reading about your successes in writing, editing, submitting, publishing and all the rest excites and motivates me. You are exactly the kind of community I want to be there to celebrate with me when my time comes.